


The Caramel Conspiracy

by Alyaludi



Series: You Two Are Assholes [2]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Agent Carolina/Agent York (mentioned), Agent South Dakota/Pilot 479er (mentioned), CT is has all the best schemes, F/M, Post-Coital Cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-13 03:16:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5692534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alyaludi/pseuds/Alyaludi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If everyone got what they wanted in the end, does it still count as a fiendish plot?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Caramel Conspiracy

Wash pants dazedly up at the ceiling. One hand is flopped over his still-twitching thigh; the fingers of the other are just brushing Connie’s hairline. 

With great effort, he musters the muscle coordination to flop his head over to the side. He snorts a bit to try to get the strands of her bangs away from his nose, which is only successful because she tilts her head back in annoyance to bite his chin. 

“Stoppit.” 

“Tickles.” 

“Mmph.” 

Having finally caught his breath, Wash starts to grin. 

“Your dumb face, it’s doing—silly,” she mutters, but her lips twitch, too. 

Wash tilts his face down, hoping for a kiss, but winds up poking her in the eye with his nose. Oops. 

Connie shoves his face away, leaning up on one elbow to look down on him. 

“How can you move,” he grumbles. 

“Mmm, you must not’ve worked hard enough,” Connie teases. Then she flops over on top of him, sticking her damn hair in his face again. 

“Oof!” is about all the protest he can manage, given the relative spaghettiness of his limbs. “I was _gonna_ say gimme a minute, but—“ 

“Too late, ‘m gonna nap.” 

There’s silence for maybe ten seconds. Then Wash’s brain ruins it. “What if she finds out?” 

Connie glares up at him, though their eye-contact is obstructed by his chin, and she’s not willing to raise her head very far off his chest. “Sleep.” 

“You’re adorable when you’re monoverbal.” 

She pokes him somewhere that is currently especially sensitive, and he yelps. “They’re gonna find out anyway.” 

“What? Why?” 

She glares up at his chin. “Y’think FILSS isn’t monitoring you _outside_ crew quarters?” 

“Yes, but if I get dressed in the same clothes nobody will know! South’s not coming back soon, is she?” 

“Sleeping with 479er.” 

“Goo—what?” 

_"Sleeping.”_

“So they’re… _not_ having sex?” 

“No, they _are,_ I was stressing the sleeping part so you’d _get the hint._ ” 

“But Connie, _what if they try to make me go another week!_ What if my spontaneous—“ 

“Ugh, fine, I cleared it with Carolina already.” Connie lifts her head up just enough that he’ll feel the exasperated thump of her forehead on his collarbone. 

_“What?”_

“I told Carolina I’d talk Maine into letting her use Sigma to spy on you if she’d make an exception for if you got distracted enough to finally make a fucking move, you doof.” 

“That was _you?!”_

“Who else on this ship has caramel ice cream?” 

He actually lifts his head so he can look down at her. “That was _mine._ ” 

“I won it fair and square.” 

“Betrayal,” he lets his head fall sadly back to the pillow. “Treachery.” 

“Oh, shut up. When were _you_ going to work up the nerve to kiss me?” 

“I might’ve!” He’s recovered enough control of one arm to bring it up to rest over her back. 

“Riiiiight.” 

“You could’ve just kissed _me!_ ” 

“Way more fun this way,” she says, nipping at his pec. 

“It was _four days,_ Connie.” He twitches. 

“Yeah, but it was a hilarious four days.” 

“Heinous backstab...ery.” 

“Oh, shut up. If you’ve got enough brain cells left for clever words…” She leans up, and he leans down with a matching stupid smile. 


End file.
